Day 2 did not go too well.
I got dismissed from work today because I have severe eye infection and the pharmacist I work for screamed when I came in this morning. She said, "did you see your eyes this morning?" I said, "no, why whats wrong?" sarcastically as hell. Let's just say I look worse than a stoner in Amsterdam. Its as if I have no white part of my eyes, its all red. I don't know how I got it. I take good care of myself, shower twice a day, wash face with face wash, wash hands after bathroom, you know all the good stuff and a little more because I can be picky when it comes to my teeth. If I feel I didn't do a good job, I won't hesitate to put some more toothpaste on and do it again. But that's just me, don't judge me. I like a girl with a nice smile, so why not have a nice smile. I like a girl with a nice body, so why not have a nice body. Am I right?
Okay so it wasn't until the pharmacist told me its bad before I even paid it much attention. In fact I kinda just went along my day yesterday like it was just a piece of lint or something in my eye that was causing this pain. Aw man was I wrong. I got to the doctors office right after they said I need to go home from the pharmacy, but its Thursday and my doctor was going take his sweet ass time to come in. So I'm sitting in the hallway to this big ass building waiting for at least the office to open so I can sit in there. I didn't want to go home cause I was in some serious pain and being home will do nothing for me. After 20 mins a security guard walks by and sees me and takes a look at my eye. He unlocks the door and lets me wait in the deserted office. What he was really thinking was "I need to get this crazy ass looking guy out the hallway, he is scaring the old white people." I know I was too cause they will walk by and being who I am, I'll try to look at them and smile. Usually I'll get a smile back or something, today I got nothing but bloody stares.
This office was quiet as upstairs in the library back where there is books but no people. Even through my pain I thought about my mediation challenge. "Why not mediate here?" I thought to myself. Lo' and behold within a couple of minutes I had arranged myself on two chairs so I could sit indian style. I turned the lights off, closed my eyes, and clasped my hands. This time it was such a relief for my eyes to be closed. I think its because I didn't want to open my eyes after I tried for so long today.
It began a bit smoother this time. I imagined an imaginary place, (nothing like Imagination Land from South Park). Actually it was like Imagination Land at the end when it was nuked and nothing was there. I put my self in nothingness and I imagined nothingness to be a place of a grayish color where I am free wander to in any direction I choose. That was nice while it lasted. That realm of nothingness only lasted about two minutes then some other other imaginary thoughts was sneaking in and I couldn't control it. So I got back to thinking about my breath and nothing else. It was going real good, for 5 minutes just thinking about my breath, although I was interfering with the natural rate at which I breath I think I was doing a good job regulating my thoughts.
With my thoughts on lock I tired to release my mind from regulating my breathing habit so I can just observe it. I tired for about a minute but it didn't work, my eye was in so much pain. I'm too much of an amateur meditator to do it while in pain. Aw well, didn't stop me from sitting indian style with my eyes close for another 30mins until the secretary came barging in and interrupted my zone.
Damn fat chick.
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